STAY IN TOUCH

One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is the gift of your attention.

Relationships have many levels and depths. You have family members whom you see and talk to on a daily basis, best friends whom you talk to and see on a regular basis, other friends and acquaintances, who colour your mindscape, but with whom you may not have spoken to for a long time. Sometimes when you zoom in on a hazy face, you are flooded with pleasurable memories and you wish you had been in touch with the person. The passage of time may have diminished the prospect of reconnecting, but it will not have corroded your string of connection. Staying in touch would have kept that wonderful relationship alive.

My wife Raji has this story to share:

“During my school days, my father was posted in Mazagaon Dock, Mumbai and we lived in Matunga. My best friend Laxmi, stayed next door to us. Our families were pretty close and we spent many wonderful years together. Later, my father was transferred to Cochin Shipyard and finally we settled in Cochin. With the passage of time and the entanglements of life, we lost touch with them, though whenever we remembered them we did so with a smile in our heart. Recently my father was at a bank, talking to the manager, when a lady standing nearby kept on staring at him quizzically. Dad was perplexed and asked her whether she thought she knew him. The lady broke into tears and said that she was Laxmi. Their family too had moved to Cochin. Being aware that we were in Cochin, they had tried to get our address in vain. They had wanted to meet us but were unsuccessful in their efforts. Her mother had been terminally ill for the past three years and had passed away the previous month. She had always been talking about my mother and wanted to meet her. My dad was shocked. Sadness overwhelmed him. If only we had remained in touch”’
Everyone has a vast network, and yet some people’s networks are largely dormant, while others maintain an active one. It is important that you call your friends and associates occasionally for no particular reason other than to say ‘hi’ and let them know that you’ve been thinking of them. This evokes a sense of happiness in them.

Sometimes, one of your friends may be facing a depression or dilemma or a crisis. All you need to do is contact them and make yourself available as a resource. I know the case of a person who was on the verge of suicide and abandoned it just because a minute before his final mission, a call from a classmate brought ineffable joy in him.
Letting someone know that you are available can mean a lot. People often may not know what to ask for, but with good listening and asking skills you may find out enough to know what to offer. Support assumes different forms ‘ a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or an ear that listens. Keeping in touch helps reduce the tension and burden of others.

We come across many new faces in our day to day life. A natural rapport or a sense of connection with some of them is also common. You may be left with the feeling that you want to know the person better. All it takes is a telephone call to establish the camaraderie. This can then be cultivated only by staying in touch through regular communication.
We are in this ‘Sulekha’ blogworld for quite some time. Yet how many of us are in regular touch with each other and send at least a note when a blogger is not seen active for some time? I was indeed elated by the amazing enthusiasm of some bloggers in chronicling their get-together while attending the marriage of purefriend’s  daughter in Coimbatore. I consider it as an exhilarating episode in this virtual realm. How many of us take pains to keep in touch? Staying in touch shows that we care. When we do a good job of staying in touch, we ensure that our current network will be part of our future network, our lifetime network.

Dear Bloggers, Build your network-past, present and future. Don’t be shortsighted or caught up in immediate gratification. Building a support system over a lifetime creates phenomenal results and an incredible sense of joy and fulfillment. Commit yourself to staying in touch. Cultivate the culture of connecting, reconnecting and solidifying your resting relationships.

Let this day of resurrection be a day to resurrect your dormant relationships. Let this be your Easter thoughts.

It is never too late. Your friends are just a phone call, an e-mail, or a doorbell away.