
My mother taught me to tell the truth and shame the devil. I once told the truth and shamed my father.
I was once attending a talk by Swami Chinmayananda, a magician of words, wit and wisdom. In the midst of his talk he paused and asked the audience a question ‘”Has anyone read the 25th chapter of ‘Bhagavath Geetha’? Everyone in the audience including yours truly yelled back “Yes, Yes”. “Very good”, he continued, “Of course, there is no 25th chapter in the book and you are the right people I want to talk to”. Dear readers, you are the right people with whom I can share my experiments with lies.
Telling lies is something that our tongues are more tuned to than telling the truth. We all have a penchant for corruption of truth. That is why we develop our sense of rumor very fast and certify the saying that “Truth is stranger than fiction”. Yet we are not liars in the strict sense. We just arrange truth in our favor.
When I was a student, I liked the subject ‘Statistics’ very much. I never knew that it had something to do with my personality until I read a quotation of Mark Twain- “There are three kinds of lies ‘ lies, damned lies and statistics.” I understood later that statisticians are superbly smart guys. I will tell you an example. A hundred men went into the forest to cut wood. They took two women with them for cooking. When the winter was over, two men got married to the two women in the group. However, a statistician reported that 2% of the men married 100% of the women. So like this statistic, I have revealed a lot in my life, but always concealing vital truths.
As an engineer I would associate some mechanical properties with a lie. Unlike truth, a lie is quite flexible, stretchable and has better yield strength. A bit of a lie added to truth is like copper added to gold, which enhances its ductility and strengthens it. Truth is wooden and static. A lie is effusive and dynamic. Truth is constant while a lie has infinite variations. Truth operates on one gear whereas a lie has multiple gears. Liars have sweet tongues and so they become splendid speakers. They win more friends and companions than truth-sayers. I think it would be terribly lonesome up in the heaven with nobody there except God and Mahatma Gandhi blinking at each other. Life is always more comfortable and peaceful under the blanket of a lie.
Consider literature or fiction. It is lying that has made the human language so beautiful. Think of the most hilarious story you have read or the best romantic movie you have watched on the silver screen or even the loveliest ad on TV. They are all enchanting because they are all tissues of lies or figments of imagination. So, if you want to set the world on fire, you should be a capable liar.
As lie is more practiced on a daily basis than truth, let us examine some of the multiple benefits of it. Consider our politicians. Do you think a mere politician can aspire to become a chief minister or prime minister without perfecting his talents in lying? No chance! Conceiving cock and bull stories, learning libels, fabricating forgeries and frauds, scheming scandals and scams are the lessons they easily learn for their ascent in their political career. Strategies for deception and counter deception are in their genes. I was really impressed when president Clinton confessed with a rare poise before the press conference – “I have nothing to do with that woman” -when we all knew as clear as a day that he had everything to do with that woman. In Kerala, two well-known politicians met on a common platform in the midst of their election campaign. One man told the other – “Let us straighten out our things. Here onwards, I will stop telling lies about you. “Well, that is fair,” replied the other politician, ” I promise, I will not tell any truth about you.”
While telling truth is a good policy, it is not the cheapest. When invitations pour in for marriages and birthday parties, a good lie can often save time and money. Now, when it comes to your daily routine of passing positive evaluations at the home front, everything from the tasteless toasts to fashion and fads of our females, telling a sweet lie is sweeter than having a tough time with the torture of truth.
Our film stars and beauty queens will secretly vouch that a lie is more youthful than the wrinkled truth. If a cat has only nine lives, a good lie will survive many lives and generations. A lie in time can save many embarrassments and is the best protector of our name and honor.
Now, look at our children! They learn lies faster than truth. When my friend Sunny came to our house with his family, he told us, “I have plans to make my youngest daughter a lawyer because she is a good liar.” I had no option but to support him as I was wedded to a pack of lies, my wife being a full-blown lawyer. Sunny’s wife asked us, “Isn’t it a problem the way our innocent children thoughtlessly crack lies?” Having faced many embarrassing moments from the mouth of my kid when he was small , I said, “Not half the problem madam as when they tell the truth at the wrong time.”
What is called for in telling lies is craft for duplicity. My wife is always concerned about my eye contact with her whenever I give her some explanations and excuses. It taught me a lesson — When lips lie, eyes tell the truth. So I am in the process of taking some lessons for my eyes. When I select my friends, I ask them whether they are honest. If a man says he is honest, that is straight explanation that he is crooked. My difficulty in practicing lies is that I don’t have enough memory capacity to be a successful liar. Another difficulty I face is when I tell a lie my palms get sweaty. But when I tell a truth, I sometimes see all the people around me getting sweaty.
Finally, to tell the truth, I think nakedness is something unwelcome both in the mind and the body. Clothe it with a bit of lie to feel yourself warm, comfortable and attractive. As Francis Bacon said, “Truth may perhaps come to the price of a pearl that shows best by day, but it will not rise to the price of a diamond that shows best in varied lights.”
There is a Proverb: “Tell a lie and leave the place.” Dear readers, I make my exit.
