(Key Note speech delivered on 31 January 2013 by DTM PGR Nair, sponsor of Global Toastmasters, at the finale of Youth Leadership Program  organized by Global Toastmasters Club )

Division Governor, Club President, YLP Coordinator , my dear Youth Leaders , fellow Toastmasters and guests

Good evening!

Global has an unbeatable tradition of holding the best YLPs and this one is no different. Being a founder of the club, I feel proud to stand before you and address you on this valedictory evening. I salute all my fellow Toastmasters who have toiled behind this important event.

I have titled MY key note speech as the PAIR speech. Well, PAIR is just two pairs of letters. But they hold a lot of meaning for me. The letter ‘P’ stands for ‘POSITIVITY’.

P-POSITIVITY

In May 1984, my cousin Satish Nair was writing his CA examination in Mumbai. Suddenly he collapsed and was rushed to the Bombay hospital. It was diagnosed that both his kidneys had been congenitally shrinking and he needed an immediate kidney transplant for survival. His father EK Nair who happened to retire from his service as an Accounts Manger on the same day later donated a kidney to his only son. Satish regained his health in a span of six months and successfully completed his CA Exam.

Satish by nature being an enterprising and hardworking guy set up a consulting business and made a flourishing growth in it. Meanwhile, he took the initiative to set up the first cadaver Kidney Bank in India.
As his doctor assured him that he could get married, a matrimonial ad was given in a Newspaper stating all facts. Alas! No partner could be found. In 1993, a girl volunteered to marry him. We were thrilled by her act of sacrifice. However, after marriage, she seemed more interested in his bank deposits and business ventures than in him. Slowly, yet horrendously, Satish realized that his life partner had expected him to die soon so that she could secure all his assets. Satish had become a victim once again. A legal battle won him a divorce. But the inner battle resulted in the failure of his transplanted kidney. As a result, he underwent another kidney transplant, this time the donor being his mother. Unfortunately, it also did not last long. Satish had been undergoing dialysis thrice a week till 2013.

In all these fights against a battalion of adversities, my cousin exhibited magnificent emotional strength and positivity as if he had transcended his suffering. His defeats appeared more triumphant than his victories. The grinding wheel of adversity only sharpened his mental blades. He became more genial and cheerful and started writing humorous articles in web pages and posting hilarious jokes in Facebook. His smile in rough weather taught us that even in the depth of winter, there lies within us an invincible summer.

Last year in January, my cousin finally succumbed to the unbeatable boxer- Death- after giving a tough fight. When he died, he was one of the top 10 service tax consultants in Mumbai. His Facebook friends were shocked as they didn’t know that he was undergoing so much pain all these years because in all his activities he radiated only joy.

There is a famous Kennedy quote: “When the going gets tough, only the tough gets going”…

Satish continues to be an inspiration for all of us in my family. A victim of shrinking kidneys, a victor in kidney transplant; a victim of marriage, a victor in his business; a victim of a failed kidney, a victor in founding a kidney bank; A VICTIM IN THE EYES OF THE WORLD ‘ A VICTOR BY HIMSELF. My cousin is the most exceptional example of positivity I have seen in my life.

Dear Children, cultivate positivity in your life and never ever be disappointed about anything. It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive. If you see the world and yourself through a lens smudged by negativity then you’ll find much misery. If you look outwards and inwards through lens brightened by positivity you’ll find much to be happy and appreciative about.

A-ACTION

The next letter is A and it stands of Action

Though I am a Toastmaster, I love more people who act rather than talk. Words can be twisted into any shape. Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul. But actions never deceive or confuse us. Actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.

My uncle EC Nair, a retired high school headmaster, is a man of few words. In fact whenever I meet, our conversations dwindle into monosyllables. Yet many a time my uncle has proven to his friends and relatives that he is a man of the moment and when crisis dawns, he changes into an entirely different persona.

In July 1988, my wife Raji Krishnan was pregnant with our first child and she was in the 9th month. Apparently during the same period my sister was also pregnant with her first baby and her date of delivery was 3 weeks before Raji. So when my sister was hospitalized, we shifted for a short while from Cochin to Vayalar, my hometown, so that someone would be there at our ancestral home. On July 15th my wife was alone in my house and suddenly she sensed some wrong signals and felt great discomfort. Apparently the amniotic sac in her uterus had broken resulting in heavy fluid loss. Luckily she was talking to a neighboring woman when this happened. She virtually ran to reach my uncle’s house, located a KM away. Within no time my uncle arranged a vehicle and came with some people to carry my wife in a chair to the nearest road and she was rushed to a trustworthy hospital. Just because of that timely action by my uncle, the doctors could save my wife though the baby died an hour after the delivery.

Again, when Satish in my first story was first detected of Kidney disease, this very same uncle, without telling anyone, sold a piece of his property and sent 25,000 rupees in 1984. My granduncle EK Nair, Satish’s father, for many years used to tell everyone how this sum of 25,000 he received from his nephew gave him the confidence to go ahead with Kidney plant transplant for his son which then incurred an expense of over 1.5 lakh.

So dear youth leaders, embrace actions than words. It has more eloquence and nobility. Remember, even Vivekanada advised Karma Yoga or the Yoga of actions. Karma Yoga is a mental discipline which allows one to carry out one’s duties as a service to the entire world, as a path to enlightenment. . We have to work as hard as we can, give the work our best quality effort, then step back and let the results take care of themselves. Action purifies the soul.

Uttishthata jagrata prapya varan nibodhata
Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached.

I- INTUITION

The third letter of pair is ‘I’ and it stands for Intuition. Intuition is a hunch or a gut feeling and if we followed it, we just might be happier. Intuition is the sound of the soul. We feel this intuition at unexpected moments and in periods of time set aside for silence. It is also very good at sending warning bells about people or events and if we listen it keeps us safe.

I came to Saudi Arabia on Nov 28th 1997. My flight to Chennai from Cochin was on 27th Nov . On 27th early morning at 2:30 AM, I received a call from my sister that my father, a cardiac patient, had been hospitalized and he had sunk into a coma. Early morning of 27th, I rushed to the hospital near Aleppey and saw there a crowd of my relatives. I went to the doctor’s home located near the hospital and asked his opinion about my father and told about my predicament of rushing to Airport in a couple of hours. The doctor said that he could tell anything positive only if his kidney started functioning. Consultations with my relatives only confused me. They wanted me to stay back as it wasn’t the right time to leave the country. I was in a dilemma. I moved away from them and went to the garden of the hospital. I stood near an almond tree for a while. I could hear some inner voice telling me that my father was going to survive. I told my relatives that I was leaving and asked my sisters to take care my father. On the morning of 28th, before boarding Saudia flight, I made a call to my sister from airport and she said that my father’s kidney had started functioning. My father lived another 18 months and I had the opportunity to visit him twice before he bid his final good bye.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Nobel Laureate, one of the greatest novelists of this century says in his memoir that everything he has done is based on intuition. Once he went for a dinner in a reputed restaurant. As he reached there, he saw in the restaurant an unfamiliar sitting pattern including some strangers dining there. He thought of not dining there and went back to another restaurant in the city. The next day he opened the Newspaper and read that many people who had dined in that restaurant he originally intended to dine, died of food poisoning. So your intuition can sometimes save your life.

I believe before you seek advice from anyone, you must seek advice from yourself. I believe that your inner voice seldom cheats you. Albert Einstein has said “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” You must train your intuitive mind – you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide. Follow your instincts, that is where wisdom lies.

R- REMEMBERANCE

Humans are more inclined to forget than remember. Very often we forget both the people who have been with us in our journey and the events that transformed us. In a few years from now some of you may act as of you don’t know your YLP coordinator Azziz Siddique , our dynamic president Asif Siddique or DTM Safare Mohammed, the poster boy of Toastmasters. My request to youth leaders is to keep a good track of your accounts, especially your debts and remember to return it if situation demands it.

Again I return to a childhood incident when I was studying in the 7th grade. My grand uncle EK Nair, the father of Satish, has been my role model. During one of his vacations from Mumbai, he asked me to go with him for a walk. He wanted to meet his childhood buddy whose house was located about 3 KM from our home. His Name was Narayan Thirumeni , a Brahmin by birth. When my uncle studied for his B.Com, the only college available was SD college near Alleppey. Since my uncle’s dad had no means to make any hostel accommodation, Narayanan Thirumeni invited my uncle to stay and study with him at his ancestral home in Alleppey as they were then a prosperous family. After our long walk we reached Narayan Thirumeni’s house. The sight we saw gave a jolt to my uncle. Times had changed. Thirumeni and his wife had been living in a dilapidated house. His only son had vanished into some unknown terrain as a Naxalist. His daughter had run away with someone belonging to another caste. Apparently, they didn’t have means to offer us even a cup of tea. After a long chat, we left his home and during the walk I realized that my uncle was visibly upset. As we reached the village square, he straightway went to a grocery shop, gave a good sum, and instructed the shopkeeper to deliver to Thirumeni’s house Rice, Sugar and Tea for one year and said he would pay if there was any unsettled payment when he returned the following year.

Witnessing of this simple incident has never been erased my heart. I see it as an exemplary act of gratitude in remembrance of what he had received from that family almost 45 years ago when he was a student. I believe gestures of such genuine gratitude come from the heart.

As Emerson rightly said- “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude”. Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. The great Roman Orator Cicero has said –“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

Dear Youth leaders, that concludes my PAIR speech

In a few years from now you are going to face the brave new world. Many things may not turn out as you have dreamt. Your ship may not come. You may not win mega buck lotteries. You may not become a flashy Software Engineer in Infosys. You may not win formula 1 car race. No one will give the key to a new city, and even if they did, it may not open even a can of cat food. You may get good jobs and bad ones. You may meet Mr Right or Miss Wrong as your partners in life. A few minutes from now a speech contest among you is going to take place. Some of you may win and some of you may lose. I am telling everything you don’t know about this life.

I am not being cynical here. Despite all these, If you stay positive and govern your actions based on intuition and remember to pay your debts in your journey, you may excel in your life. Based on my experiences and my observation of others I can say with utmost honesty that like in Hindi Movies happy endings are the rule rather than an exception.

Dear Youth Leaders, You are living in incredibly exciting times. Take your wings and fly. Let Global Toastmasters be the wind beneath your wings.